My decision to continue with the Blog
This year has not been great for my blog. I almost gave it up completely a month ago. I had a real crisis of confidence and in that has been a busy year in other aspects of my life. I felt I neither had the time nor inclination to post. I’ve also come full circle in making my decision to not only continue with the blog, but to go at it wholeheartedly and do it my way.
What went wrong?
The simple answer is a number of things. I was working in a shop which was really understaffed which meant long hours at work. Running my hairdressing business alongside that, as well as solo parenting left me functioning, yet completely exhausted and feeling really run down.
Last year I had a routine of writing the blog, learning and doing my social media work in the evenings once my youngest had gone to bed. My change in job and long working hours meant that once the boys were asleep and my housework done, I would collapse into bed at nights.
I had so much love for all things blogging. I would wake each morning feeling full of enthusiasm for the day and figure out a time when I could work on the blog and how I would blog my way to financial freedom, but something , usually tiredness or my latest Netflix binge and that would be another day passing without getting the laptop out.
Crisis of confidence
Once I had lost my blogging routine, it wasn’t long until I lost all confidence in what I was doing. I would over analyse every little thing I wrote. I convinced myself I wasn’t up to it and who wanted to read what I had to say anyway?
In a new , much nicer job and in an attempt to push myself back into blogging again I went to Blog on. Blog on is an amazingly run blogging conference held twice a year in the UK. I was so excited to go. Brummy Mummy of 2, my absolute fave blogger was going to speaking there. The lady that inspired me to blog. As it turned out, I never even spoke to her. Absolutely not because of her, in fact she did an amazing talk and was lovely to everyone. I was so crippled with overwhelm, social anxiety and regret in going to the conference that I just wanted to go home.
I decided on the train home that I was an utter imposter and should give blogging up completely!
My decision to continue with the blog
You cannot underestimate self sabotaging behavior and although I was telling myself I had nothing worth saying. I wasn’t intelligent enough, funny or stylish enough. There was also the part of me really itching to work on my blog. I half heatedly decided to join Blogtober in an attempt to get back into the habit.
I had what you could call an epiphany, a download, a brainwave if you like. I know that actually ANYONE CAN BLOG!!! I think I had lost my blogs purpose. I was attempting to follow the norm in parenting blogs. I think my reassessment was a deeper me saying “OI KEL !! NO THIS ISN’T WHAT YOU WANTED!!!” .
It is as simple as that. I started this blog to help other Mums who just want more out of life, who want to laugh!! who want the nice things in life for less money, less struggle. Single Mums on budgets who still want to look and feel like the dogs bollocks, to share how I manifest things over and over and to share our life as we continue to improve things and reach our goals.
I remembered my Purpose!!!
It’s an essential if your feeling stuck or if your unsure what route in life your taking. Think to what you want to achieve in life, what legacy do you want to leave behind? I’ve remembered mine and I’m so excited for the future of My Silly Mummy.
Here’s to being authentic, writing for us, not other bloggers and for living our best lives , the way we want to.