Life can be tough can’t it? I have moved on from that frame of mind now but around five years ago I was so low, it was blooming tough. I still remember those mornings waking up, my heart breaking and crying into my pillow because I had woken up and had another day to get through. I know how hard it can get, and I know it can feel like it will never get better, but IT ABSOLUTELY CAN !!! One of the main things that helped me learn to love myself again was this visualization for self-love.
I gradually felt better as my situation improved, but it’s only now when I’m writing this that I realised I hadn’t loved myself for such a long time. I don’t know how that came about really, I was a confident child and teen but I think as you age you begin to compare yourself to those around you. Perhaps friends were taller, slimmer, prettier. Maybe some had better cars, more inspiring jobs. Yes I had my salon at nineteen, did I want it? No. I wanted to work on the cruise ships. A few failed relationships, selling my salon to be a single parent. Grief. Heartbreak. Not having enough money. It all took its toll and eventually at my worst and even after that, I had no self-esteem, I was ashamed of myself, I did not like myself at all.
Once things began to improve and I was improving the world around me, I wanted to learn to like me. Someone told me that a happy Mum meant happy children, and throughout all the bad times I kept going for them and gosh I wanted them to be happy.
I set about building my confidence, joining in a fortnightly social group, approaching the other mums at school, and generally finding out who exactly Kelly was other than Mam.
I found a lot of great ways to do this, but the single most emotive way was a simple visualisation excercise. I find that visualisation is an extremely good tool for my focus and helps keep anxiety at bay for me and it can help for all kinds of positive effects to your life.
If you’ve struggled at making good decisions for yourself, or getting motivation to do or be more I’d love for you to try this visualisation as it changed the view of myself.
So first of all lie down somewhere comfortable when you are confident you won’t be disturbed, close your eyes and take five deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth and relax.
Think back to a time when you were content as a child doing something you loved to do, a time when you had no strains or concerns.
Now imagine you are stood a few feet away just observing yourself as you were then. What was your hairstyle? What were you wearing? What were you doing? Isn’t that amazing just look at yourself and remember how at peace you were. Now think about how much hope you had at that age. Do you want the absolute best for that child that you? Of course you do. Now go over and hug that you, tell your younger self you are going to get the best life for you. Make a pledge to do EVERYTHING IN YOUR POWER TO SUCCEED and get the best for yourself. Now kiss your younger self on the forehead and tell your younger self that you love her. Walk away and know you can return to that memory at any time. Wriggle your toes and fingers and open your eyes.
I know for some people visualisation can be quite emotional, but that’s even better as it means you’re connecting to that love of self, but it was definitely a life changer for me. I not only want the best for my children, I want the best for me too.
I would love to hear from you if you try this visualisation and let me know if it helps. xx